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Josh Hamilton |
Last July, when Texas Rangers fan Shannon Stone fell to
his death after Josh Hamilton threw him a souvenir baseball, I said on the air
that I was concerned about his future. Hamilton, as most everyone knows by now,
has dealt with drug addiction and alcoholism for years. When Stone fell to his
death I said that I hoped Hamilton wouldn’t relapse. Unfortunately, it appears
as if that is exactly what has happened.
According to reports, Hamilton relapsed on Monday night
at a local Dallas bar. The reports also indicated that teammate Ian Kinsler
showed up at the establishment in an attempt to get Hamilton out of the
situation.
The Rangers confirmed the relapse, releasing a statement
that said they were "aware of a situation but have no further comment at
this time."
The whole situation makes me sad. There are many people
who deal with addiction every day. Some of them are able to overcome their
problems. Some of them aren’t. But the one thing they all have in common is the
fact that they are sick. Addiction is a sickness. It is a disease. It is not a
choice, as some would have you believe.
I know of what I speak, at least when it comes to
addiction. I watched my father go through it. I watched my father conquer it.
It was late in 1992, and my father was living in Albuquerque,
New Mexico at the time. I visited him for the holidays, and when I got off the
plane, I was stunned at what I saw. You see, my father was always a big guy.
The man that greeted me when I got off the plane was a good eighty pounds less
than the man I had last seen the year before. My immediate reaction was to
congratulate him on losing the weight. Within a couple of days I figured out
how he had done it.
You see, my father would disappear for hours at a time,
and when he returned, he was clearly high. I will never forget going to dinner
with him, and him saying to me that he was so “zooted” out of his mind. I then
found out that my father was using crack.
When I returned home from my trip I was so distraught
about the situation that I had called some members of my family and told them
what had happened. I was accused of lying, because no one could believe that my
father, as straight-laced a guy as there was for most of my life, would fall
down that far. The fact that the people I told did not believe me led to some
very tense times in my life. There were family members I did not speak to for a
while because they would not believe me. That is, until they confronted my
father, who admitted he had a problem.
That was in 1992. My father spent the next couple of
years on and off the wagon, moving from place to place (fist Mesa, Arizona and
then Kansas). The addiction cost him his job and led him to file for bankruptcy.
But he turned his life around. He stopped using drugs,
and for the last fifteen years of his life he was clean and sober. I don’t know
how he did it. I never asked him (to be honest I was afraid to). But I know
that he did it, and to this day I am proud of him for doing so.
I don’t know what triggered his addiction. I do know that
there were certain traumatic events in his life that led him to relapse.
Relapsing was his way of dealing with whatever pain he was going through at the
time. I never condoned it, but I understood it.
Thank goodness he conquered his demons. There were other
traumatic events in his life that occurred between 1995 and 2010 (when he
passed away from a staph infection), but he never fell back into doing drugs.
When I first heard that Hamilton relapsed, I took to twitter
to express how sad I was that he had fell off the wagon. One of my followers
(who shall remain nameless) tweeted back to me, and was pretty insensitive about
the whole thing. The guy made a joke about Game Six of the World Series and how
that could make anyone drink if they were a Rangers fan. Naturally, I told him
how much I disagreed with him.
We’ll probably never know what caused Hamilton to walk
into that bar on Monday night. But try this on for size. For the last number of
months, Hamilton was dealing with the fact that a kind act that he did led
someone to fall to his death. On top of that, the man fell right in front of
his young son.
I’ve obviously never had something like that happen to
me, but I can see and understand how it would weigh on someone’s mind. I could
understand how guilty Hamilton must have felt. Somewhere along the way he
probably thought it was his fault that Shannon Stone died. Try dealing with
that kind of guilt.
Again, I am not condoning what Hamilton did by going to
that Dallas bar on Monday night. If he felt he was about to go back to alcohol,
he should have reached out to someone. He should have turned to one of the many
people he has in his support system. But he didn’t.
I am fond of telling people that they cannot live their
lives in the rear view mirror. I am a firm believer in looking forward, not
looking back. Hamilton cannot change what has happened in the past. But he can
do something about his future.
He can get himself the help he needs. How he does it is
up to him. Every addict that is able to overcome their issues does it
differently. Some can do it by themselves. Some need rehab. It doesn’t matter how
Hamilton does it, as long as he does it.
His very life is at stake here.